Seas It means living

The mission of Seas It, in its purest form, sparks the question: “Do you want to live a little each day or die a little each day?” 

This question was raised at a time when Amanda and I were both at a physical and mental low point of cancer treatments.  My body was wasting away from multiple surgeries and ongoing chemotherapy.  My mind was starting to believe that, perhaps, the doctors and their statistics were correct and that I would only live for about 6 months – at best two years.  Amanda was exhausted.  She put her career aside and for months being my caretaker became her full time job.   She fielded every inquiry from insurers and employers, arranged every medical appointment, and oversaw all the travel logistics.  Her reward for a job well done was to sneak a few hours of rest by falling asleep in hospital chairs.  Amanda went from newlywed to nurse in just days.   We did the best we could in our new roles but neither one of us felt like we had any control in the process.

From the moment I was diagnosed with cancer we surrendered ourselves to the medical community.  Our time and my body became their property.  We traveled the Northeast for consultations, opinions, tests, and treatments.  We made ourselves available to their schedules and waited (and waited and waited) in countless rooms so that my body could be poked, prodded, injected, cut, stapled, and radiated.  I felt like my life was in chaos and was spinning out of control.  Then, Amanda convinced me to try acupuncture – we were desperate to attack this disease from every angle. Lying on the bed, while my acupuncturist stuck her needles in me, she told me that I could either “live a little each day or die a little each day”. She asked me, “Which one do you want to do?”

Her question had such a profound impact on Amanda and me.  For the first time since the diagnosis, we felt like we had some control.  From that day on, we have decided to live a little each day.  By choosing to live rather than die, to fight rather than surrender, our fears and anxieties disappeared and were replaced with the determination and motivation to move forward.

Today is better then yesterday. Tomorrow??